Things I have learned

After 28 hours in Africa:

I have learned that all airline food is terrible, even when it's served by smiling, charming stewardesses who are all way more attractive than anyone I've ever seen on an American carrier. My meatloaf experience may have scarred me for life.

I have learned that it is possible to stave off jetlag with a properly disciplined sleeping schedule. Sleeping---or napping, really---roughly seven of sixteen hours from IAD to JNB, I debarked feeling fresh-ish at 6:00 PM local time and successfully stayed awake until 10:00, when I fell into a deep slumber until 7:00 the next morning. It's now 9:30 PM, and it feels like 9:30. Amazing.

I have learned that Africans, in general, seem to be hyper-friendly. My seatmate on the big flight was Archie, an undergraduate at the University of Illinois returning home to Lusaka for the first time in ten years. We had a decent conversation, sure, but at the end of the flight he invited me to come visit him and his family. "We can play around on some ATVs," he said, "plus my dad will hire a car for us to visit Victoria Falls!" Hopefully that will end up happening.
I have learned that there exist people beyond the American fringe who somehow believe that the United States government was complicit in the 9/11 attacks. This little nugget served as the climax to an extended, very drunk conversation I had with Andrew, a 32-year old South African living in Namibia, at the hotel bar last night. With his hand on my shoulder: "The whole plane was vaporized [in the Pentagon crash], but they found the pilot's passport?! That's IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!" But thanks, Andrew, for being so generous with your cheap, terrible wine, awing me with tales of superhuman feats of meat consumption---a 1 kg steak is "no big deal" to him---and teaching me a little Afrikaans (Johannesburg is a den of kak, apparently).

I have learned that, even in 2010, paper is way better than an iPhone when you're unable to get data coverage to pull up your itinerary to find out which of many "partner airlines" is actually operating your flight. After several dead-end conversations with ticketing agents I finally stumbled across the right one but I could just as easily be stuck in Johannesburg right now.

I have learned that there are sounds far, far worse than that icky scraping noise you get when you rub pieces silverware together. To the middle-aged Asian guy at my gate in OR Tambo airport playing that cellphone game involving endless repetitions of the "Ode to Joy" theme accented with howls that could only have been recorded from a strangled dog: you totally ruined my morning.


I have learned that Ndola, Zambia, is a place where Moet Rose Imperial is $100 USD, twice US pricing, and Tanqueray gin is $20, about half the US norm. Maybe the Zambians just really love their bubbly.

I have learned, courtesy of satellite TV here in the enormous flat I somehow have all to myself, that there is a Japanese game show in which contestants race to the finish wearing roller skates and horse costumes and jumping over obstacles while being savaged by oh-so-witty South African commentators on a dubbed soundtrack. It was mesmerizing. (Also fabulous is a dating advice program that tells women to keep first-date conversation "light" and avoid innocent questions like "So how many kids do you want???" Ignore them. If he chokes on his wine like the guy in their dramatization, he's clearly not boyfriend material.)

And finally, I have learned just how fortunate I am to live in a first-world country. Air conditioning, decent coffee, clean water---clean anything---these are hard to come by in Zambia. But the people are unfailingly polite and my hosts, in particular, have been exceedingly warm and gracious. It should be interesting few weeks, and I'm looking forward to exploring the city more this weekend.

Stay tuned for some more pictures once I get the Nikon out and about.

Update: As I hinted above, I'm completely without cell phone coverage here for the time being, so while receiving texts is free I won't be able to see them.

Greetings

At this time tomorrow I'll be en route from DC to Johannesburg, a 16 hour flight that will take me thousands of miles farther away from the States than I've ever been. After resting up at an airport hotel---they're sending a driver!!!!---I'll fly the next morning to Ndola, Zambia, a city of about 495,000 where I'll spend the next six weeks teaching Java programming and math at Northrise University, the only private university in the country. There will be a safari in Zambia at some point, during which I'll stare down hippopotamuses and wrestle lions with my bare hands; trophies will be available on a first come, first served basis---my bags aren't that big, you know. After that, I fly to South Africa for about two weeks of vacation; I'll start out with a week or so in Cape Town and decide where to go from there. Cage diving with sharks is a possibility, although I might stick with whale watching since that, while being considerably less thrilling, is considerably less likely to give my mother a heart attack.

The purpose of this blog is to keep you, my colleagues, friends, and family, up to date every step of the way. I plan to post at least once every two days, and always with lots of pictures of what I'm seeing and doing. Please, please give comments and questions at the bottom of individual posts or, if you prefer, via email; I promise to be vigilant about responding. I'm also available via Skype (d.winchell) if you want to arrange a chat. (For reference, the time zone is UTC+2).

Here's to the adventure, and especially to hoping I don't die of malaria or some horrible, previously-unknown tropical disease. That would really suck.

--David